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Comments on: "Could’a, Would’a, Should’a" (4)

  1. Ruth Livezey said:

    I don’t know whether I’ve mentioned this, but I’ve wondered if a sudden death of a spouse is in a weird way a little better than a slow lingering death. Would you feel a little better about not having been able to do more, since you didn’t see it coming? Our circumstances were different, so let me know your thoughts.

  2. I’ve actually thought about this a lot. True, in a sudden death there’s often not anything else you could have done. On the other hand, a slow death of a loved one allows you to start your grieving much earlier down the road than having the sudden shock at the end. In reality, neither is “best.” We just have to pray for God to hold our hand, and cope as best we can.

  3. My husband had a terminal diagnosis and was in the hospital the morning he died, but I can tell you that to me his death was sudden and unexpected. I later realized that I had been in anticipatory grief from the day of his diagnosis 4 1/2 years earlier, but the moment I was told his heart had stopped I went into shock. He was in ICU where he’d been taken an hour before and I was not by his side when he entered heaven. It’s been 3 1/2 years and there are still times I struggle with the guilt of that. I have to remind myself that God was right there with him.

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